- It will be strange to have a job again, after being unemployed for almost 6 months.
- It will be weird to work in an office, after working from home for more than 5 years.
- And the hardest burden to bear, it will be heartbreaking to be away from Nathan after being with him 24/7 since the end of February.
I planned on continuing that job even after we left the city, something I had already discussed with my boss and gotten his approval on. But unfortunately, that is not what happened. I was laid off in February, which caught me totally and completely off guard and resulted in a lot of hurt, anger and resentment. Suddenly I was faced with that dreaded decision, the one I had managed to avoid for the first 10 months of Nathan's life.
I have all the respect in the world for full-time stay at home mothers. Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever had. It's demanding and exhausting and it's 24/7. But after a lot of thought (and a lot of tears), I have decided to go back to work. The major reason is that financially, we just can not afford for me to not work. Ideally I would have loved to find a part-time job - but there just aren't that many out there that pay a decent salary. I was lucky to find a good job, one that I think I'll be good at as well as enjoy, and was able to negotiate a Monday-Thursday schedule so I am very happy to know I will have every Friday off to be with Nathan.
While I've loved being able to spend so much time with Nathan these past 6 months, I have missed working. It is a strange feeling to have a career for almost 10 years and then suddenly just stop working, even moreso since I wasn't mentally prepared for it. And I am very excited to be back in an office, working from home allows great freedoms and flexibility but man is it lonely!
I think Nathan will have a lot of fun playing with other kids at daycare and he will also get some one on one time with his Nana and Papa. I am expecting the first couple weeks to be hard, but am praying that Nathan and I will both adjust to our new routines and will find happiness in this decision.