Is this it?

Woke up at 6:00 this morning to cramps and some spotting.
Let Will know to get on an early train home from NYC.
Since then contractions have gotten steady.
About 8 min apart now, lasting 45 seconds.
Parents heading over to stay with Nathan.
Will should be home in an hour.
Will probably call the in-laws in NYC soon and let them know to hop in the car.

I have a feeling we will be meeting this little guy soon!

Pregnancy Problems

• When it's 30 degrees outside and you don't own a single jacket that will zip shut over your belly.
• When you are trying to savor your last few nights of solid, uninterrupted sleep, and instead you are up every hour because you constantly have to pee.
• Those awkward moments when you bump into a stranger with your giant, hard as a rock belly
• It's the middle of cold/flu season and you can't cough or sneeze without peeing a little bit.

Say what?

I walked into the living room today wearing a black t-shirt and an animal print cardigan.

Nathan looked up with me with a big smile and said, "Mommy, you have a giraffe costume!"

Labor of love

I'm starting to feel really anxious about this whole labor idea. I focused so much on being pregnant for 9 months that I kind of blocked out the cruel reality of having to physically push a human being out of my body. But with just 8 days to my due date, the truth is starting to sink in. 

But I got an awesome labor/recovery care package in the mail yesterday from one of my best friends back in NYC which I know will make it all a little more bearable. 

Sanitary pads (If you've given birth, no explanation needed. If you haven't, you don't want to know.)
Comfy socks to wear during the possible long labor hours!
Lavender hand lotion and lip balm
Yummy snacks (which I may or may not have already started eating)

Thanks so much Allison! These goodies are almost nice enough to make me look forward to labor. Just kidding, I am still dreading it but at least I know these things will be a big help after!

Monkey see, monkey do

Today for lunch I made Nathan and myself grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup and apple slices. He watched me dip my sandwich into my soup and seconds later he was dipping not only his sandwich, but his apple slices too.  It didn't look especially appealing to me but hey, if he likes to dip apples into tomato soup, more power to him! By now I've learned that however he chooses to get the food I make him into his stomach is A-ok with me.

Be mine, valentine

I can feel the "Oh my god, I'm about to have another child and Nathan will no longer be the center of my universe" guilt starting to set in as we near my due date. So, I may or may not have gone a little overboard with celebrating Valentine's Day.

We attended two different Valentine playdates; one involved decorating cookies, the other making homemade cards. I bought him a special shirt, cut all his lunch food that day into the shape of a heart, and made classroom valentine's so big they didn't fit into the class mailbox, oops.

But Nathan had so much fun, shouting "Happy Balentine's" to everyone he came across on Thursday and explaining to anyone who would listen that XOXO means I love you so it was all worth it.

This year I celebrated with my 2 favorite guys, hard to believe next year I'll have 3 Valentines to celebrate with!!

I was getting Nathan changed into his pajamas tonight and he was standing up on the changing table. We were talking and laughing and out of nowhere, he leaned down and patted my back a few times and said "You're my best friend."

Is it possible to actually feel you heart melt??

36 weeks and counting

I am 36 weeks today and found out I am 1 cm dilated and my little nugget is head down and making his way into my pelvis. This kid is ready to go!

I have gained 29 pounds so far, a little frightening since I only gained 25 total with Nathan! I worked out a lot more when I was pregnant with Nathan ( a luxury I said goodbye to a long time ago since becoming a mama) so I was afraid this might happen. Although I am hoping that chasing a toddler around all day will help me drop the weight just as easily as I gained it! I also remember the combination of breastfeeding, sleep deprivation and forgetting to feed yourself being a very effective diet so here's hoping the magical combo works its magic again this time around!

For the most part, I feel good. While I definitely miss being able to sleep late in the mornings and take naps whenever I wanted like I did during my first pregnancy, Nathan also serves as a constant distraction.  Most days I don't even think about being pregnant, which is helpful since I can remember focusing on it and watching the days on the calendar pass by so slowly during my last few weeks with Nathan.

Sleeping is pretty much impossible. If I'm not getting up to pee, I'm up with heartburn, or being kicked awake by my night owl. I have accepted the fact that there just is no comfortable sleeping position when you're 8 1/2 months pregnant. This is all preparing me for the middle of the night feedings headed my way though.

I would say I am 50/50 when it comes to being scared/excited. I am scared of how Nathan will react. Will he feel jealous of the baby? Will he feel neglected by me? Will he feel confused? I am nervous about how I am going to take care of 2 little ones, how exactly do you go grocery shopping with a toddler and an infant?? How do you get the baby on any type of schedule without cutting out your toddler's social life?? How do you entertain a toddler all day when you've been up with an infant all night??

I am also really scared that I will have the postpartum baby blues/depression that I had after Nathan was born. Those first few weeks, which should have been the happiest of my life, turned out to be the most terrifying, lonely, sad time and I am so scared I will have those feelings again. I kept everything bottled up inside the first time around and plastered a smile on my face and told everyone how happy I was. The only one who really knew the truth was Will. This time around I will try to be better about getting rest, and asking for help, and being honest about what I'm going through.  But as bad as that was,  I think I'm most scared that Nathan will decide to give up his nap right when this baby makes his arrival. Don't do it Nathan, don't do it!!!

On the flip side, I am so excited to meet this guy! Nathan's gender was a surprise so we never referred to him by his name. With this little guy we've been calling him by his name for weeks now so I feel like I've really bonded with him. We got a new glider (something I didn't have room for in our tiny NYC apt when we had Nathan) and anytime someone sits in it, Nathan shouts "No, that's XXXXXX's chair!" (So much for keeping the name a surprise, Nathan has definitely let it slip a few times).

Overall, I love being pregnant and I really will miss it when it comes to an end. There is something so special about feeling your baby move around inside you, it's indescribable really. But if anything can beat that feeling, I know now that the real thing is 100 times better! So I'm ready whenever you are kiddo. I can't wait to meet you.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mama