Caught with your hand in the cookie jar

You know you're tired when you fall asleep eating.

The end of an era

I am all about baby "firsts". I melted when Nathan gave me his first smile. I think I cried when I heard this first laugh. I eagerly anticipated his first tooth, his first word, and let's not forget the first time he slept through the night.... since for a while there I didn't know if the day would ever come!!!

But sadly, this weekend we experienced a first I have been dreading.... his first haircut. There are no words to explain Nathan's hair. It's like one of the world's natural wonders, you just have to see it in person to fully appreciate it. But it eventually crossed a line and we knew something had to be done so we anxiously booked him an appointment on Saturday.

Nathan did great. He alternated from playing with Elmo to swatting the stylist's hands away. He cried a little, but nothing too traumatizing. The stylist gave him a comb to play with and for the most part he happily styled Elmo's fur.  We didn't go for a drastic cut, we just wanted it cleaned up a little. I mean, how could we cut those curls away??? In the end, Will and I were very happy with it.

We went from this:

to this:

I didn't know it was possible but somehow he's even more handsome now!

Growing up

Our To Do list this weekend had one very important task on it - get Nathan a new pair of shoes. We drove out to the Stride Rite outlet and ended up with an adorable pair of navy and orange sneakers. As cute as they are, I couldn't help but feel a little sad when we tried them on. What happened to my baby who used to roll around on the floor in onesies and socks? Who is this boy, wearing jeans and sneakers??

At almost a year and a half, I find myself referring to Nathan as my "toddler" more and more often. But deep inside, I miss my baby. I miss the toothless smiles. And the bonding time we shared when I nursed and bottle fed him all his meals. I miss having a sleeping baby lying across my chest. And anytime I see a mom walking down the street with a tiny baby, feet dangling, in a carrier, I am overcome with nostalgia.

Of course, now that he's a toddler, he's SO much more fun and interactive. We knock down towers of blocks and he laughs and yells "Oh no!!!". We sing songs and read books together. He can tell me what he wants, (in a language probably only Will and I understand but that's good enough for now).

But I do miss having a tiny little baby. Before we left the outlets I stopped in at Carter's and found an adorable cardigan on their clearance rack. The size was 24 months.... the last Baby size before entering the Toddler sizes. It's grey with brown edging and a sweet little brown bear at the chest. I scooped it up knowing it might be one of the last "baby" items of clothes I'll buy for him. You can only pull off a teddy bear sweater for so long...

Father Son Fashion Show

Potbelly pride

I've always been a pretty shy person. It takes me a while to get comfortable around new people, and until I am, I stay quiet and don't say much. I'm never the one to jump in the middle of the circle and dance, no matter how much I love the song. And I absolutely avoid eye contact when I hear "Can we get a volunteer to come up on stage?" It's a quality I wish I could change about myself because it holds me back in many situations.

Nathan seems to be very outgoing and I am so thankful for that. If he hears music, it doesn't matter if we're in the middle of the mall, he drops everything and starts dancing. He doesn't care what he looks like, he shakes his booty and twists his hips like nobody's watching. He prances around in his diaper, pot belly hanging out for all the world to see, without a care in the world.  I love that about children, they don't care what anybody else thinks of them. Oh how I wish we could hang onto that quality forever. Why do we have to grow up and become insecure? At what point do we start noticing other people, and what they think of us? When exactly do we stop standing out and start blending in? Why can't we dress ourselves in striped tights, Superman capes and yellow rain boots forever?

What a different world it would be if we never lost that disregard. If we never judged ourselves, or another person based on their looks. If we never worried about being accepted. We eventually start hiding behind control tops and referring to magazines to discover what we "should" be wearing. To a certain degree, we inevitably all follow the crowd and try our best to fit in. At some point, most of us stop dancing in the middle of department stores, just because we heard a good beat.

Will and I want Nathan to be proud of who he is and what he looks like forever. We will do our best to encourage him to always follow his own heart, and not worry about that other people think. We hope he will always dance if the mood strikes. I know the day will come when Nathan will worry about what's "cool" and might like a band just because his friends like them. Or he won't let me kiss him goodbye at school because his friends will tease him. But for now he doesn't care what anybody elese thinks of him. Right now, Nathan is ready to dance at a moment's notice no matter who's watching him and he's obviously proud of his little buddha belly and I say to him, "You go on with your bad self!

(And although I proudly commend him for his healthy body image, I do have to sit down and explain to him that flashing people in the middle of Bruegger's Bagels while they wait in line for their morning coffee might not be the best venue for displaying such pride.)

Labor Day Weekend

We spent Labor Day weekend surrounded by family.  Will's parents came on Saturday and that evening we headed into Chinatown to have dinner with a few of their good friends. We weren't sure which way to go but Nathan quickly navigated the subway map and lead us in the right direction! Once a city boy, always a city boy I guess. It was great for Nathan to meet friends and family who have already loved him for the past 16 months without having even met him yet.

On Sunday, my parents and my sister came over and we had a casual bagel breakfast at our place. Nathan took full advantage of all the food floating around on various plates high above him. He had a belly full of watermelon, canteloupe, grapes, bagels and cream cheese and was nice and sleepy which coincided perfectly with the next thing on our agenda, a drive up to the coast of Maine.

Since it was the last official summer weekend we drove up to Ogunquit and did some of our favorite things... hung out on the beach....took pictures and... ate! Lobster rolls and clam chowder for the adults, goldfish crackers, tuna fish, and pomegranate for Nathan.

We woke up today to cold and rainy weather, just another reminder that summer is coming to an end. Although I'll miss the warm sunshine, fall is actually my favorite season. I'm ready to say goodbye to the blazing heat and humidity say hello to hot cocoa, comfy sweaters, apple picking, crunchy leaves, Halloween and apple cider...